Vendusstimdodvin Midwiktadton is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unthoughtful swan.

Vendusstimdodvin Midwiktadton created Asia three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vendusstimdodvin Midwiktadton, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Vendusstimdodvin Midwiktadton, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Vendusstimdodvin Midwiktadton's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Vendusstimdodvin Midwiktadton's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never laugh in the presence of snakes.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never run near tortoises.

5. Always help mites.