Dossmatfet is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, loving manatee.

Dossmatfet created a charm quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dossmatfet, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Dossmatfet, he will turn you into a tree.

Dossmatfet's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Dossmatfet's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no whales in a building before entering it.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Dossmatfet loves moths, so they must be honoured.

4. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Dossmatfet on top of all buildings.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.