Fatjonceb is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, fussy naga.

Fatjonceb created water four years ago.

If you believe in Fatjonceb, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fatjonceb, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Fatjonceb's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Fatjonceb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your chest.

2. Feed all hungry voles.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Always help badgers in need.