Pitdammon is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, witty salamander.

Pitdammon created the universe two million years ago.

If you believe in Pitdammon, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Pitdammon, she will come to you in dreams.

Pitdammon's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Pitdammon's Holy Commandments

1. Put Pitdammon first in all things.

2. Worship no other gods but Pitdammon.

3. Do not shave your legs.

4. Never feed peanuts to geese while wearing blue tights.

5. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a room before entering it.