Quaggeptin is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, wise giraffe.

Quaggeptin created the world five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quaggeptin, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Quaggeptin, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Quaggeptin's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Quaggeptin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill ducks.

2. Do not wear indigo clothing.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. You must love Quaggeptin.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.