Zandissbabdinfabtip is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, witty chicken.

Zandissbabdinfabtip created a down quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zandissbabdinfabtip, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Zandissbabdinfabtip, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Zandissbabdinfabtip's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Zandissbabdinfabtip's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if six doves approach from the east.

2. Never look at asteroids.

3. Do not dye your hair purple.

4. Never skip in holy places.

5. Do not kill grasshopers.