Flamsan Vadget is a god.

It takes the form of a small, amazing elephant.

Flamsan Vadget created the planet Earth seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Flamsan Vadget, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Flamsan Vadget, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Flamsan Vadget's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Flamsan Vadget's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate birds.

2. Never think ill of sick goats.

3. Always wear magenta.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.