Fattondidlanarttinlitdon is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unjust jackal.

Fattondidlanarttinlitdon created a photon eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Fattondidlanarttinlitdon, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fattondidlanarttinlitdon, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Fattondidlanarttinlitdon's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Fattondidlanarttinlitdon's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never think about black holes.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never bounce near sharks.

5. Do not dye your hair fawn.