Wabfen is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, fast raccoon.

Wabfen created Europe seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wabfen, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Wabfen, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Wabfen's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Wabfen's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Always make sure there are no whales in a building before entering it.

3. Never eat limes.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Run away from cyan eagles, for they are unholy.