Rotfebtonk is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, emotional bird.

Rotfebtonk created the universe nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rotfebtonk, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Rotfebtonk, he will jump up and down on your head.

Rotfebtonk's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Rotfebtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick manatees.

2. You must pray to Rotfebtonk eight times a day.

3. Never hurt porpoises.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.