Yimkipdusshin is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, humorless snail.

Yimkipdusshin created gold five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yimkipdusshin, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Yimkipdusshin, he will refuse to believe in you.

Yimkipdusshin's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Yimkipdusshin's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Yimkipdusshin four times a day.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Always look after injured tapirs.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never play with disobedient children.