Metcenyat is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, smart elephant.

Metcenyat created the Sol system two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Metcenyat, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Metcenyat, he will remove you from existence.

Metcenyat's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Metcenyat's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Metcenyat.