Natmeg is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, tranquil monkey.

Natmeg created a bottom quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Natmeg, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Natmeg, he will not invite you to parties.

Natmeg's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Natmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Natmeg.

2. You must never eat pineapples.

3. Run away if six gulls approach from the south.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.