Nurlfumhap is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, flying capybara.

Nurlfumhap created snails eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlfumhap, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nurlfumhap, she will torture you forever.

Nurlfumhap's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Nurlfumhap's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat limes.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Always help ducks.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never think ill of sick shrews.