Tabbestbeg is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, amazing penguin.

Tabbestbeg created water two million years ago.

If you believe in Tabbestbeg, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tabbestbeg, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Tabbestbeg's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Tabbestbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Tabbestbeg loves badgers, so they must be honoured.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.