Jabhonnel is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, able hamster.

Jabhonnel created Africa three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jabhonnel, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jabhonnel, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Jabhonnel's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Jabhonnel's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat goats with great respect.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ants.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.