Zogtifdoss is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, irritating mink.

Zogtifdoss created life three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zogtifdoss, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Zogtifdoss, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Zogtifdoss' most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Zogtifdoss' Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat wheat.

2. Never laugh in holy places.

3. Shrews are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zogtifdoss.