Konnurlbemnill is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, overgenerous yak.

Konnurlbemnill created everything that exists four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Konnurlbemnill, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Konnurlbemnill, he will turn you into a sheep.

Konnurlbemnill's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Konnurlbemnill's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured dogs.

2. Do not trade with those who eat lemons.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate capybaras.

4. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Never go into turquoise rooms.