Ranbabjenbat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, deceitful crab.

Ranbabjenbat created bats eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Ranbabjenbat, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Ranbabjenbat, she will turn you into a hamster.

Ranbabjenbat's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Ranbabjenbat's Holy Commandments

1. Ranbabjenbat loves sheep, so they must be honoured.

2. Never write about moons.

3. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always make sure there are no rats in a room before entering it.