Rutbarnpan is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, deceitful faun.

Rutbarnpan created the world eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Rutbarnpan, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Rutbarnpan, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Rutbarnpan's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Rutbarnpan's Holy Commandments

1. Put Rutbarnpan first in all things.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never hurt moths.

4. Geese are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate capybaras.