Bentamrip is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, astonishing alligator.

Bentamrip created gold four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bentamrip, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bentamrip, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Bentamrip's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Bentamrip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about aubergines.

2. Do not eat gooseberries.

3. Never wear corsets.

4. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

5. Always help great tits.