Fumnellmap Gemvabfet is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, able raccoon.

Fumnellmap Gemvabfet created humankind five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fumnellmap Gemvabfet, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Fumnellmap Gemvabfet, he will not invite you to parties.

Fumnellmap Gemvabfet's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Fumnellmap Gemvabfet's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Retreat if eight swans approach from the east.

3. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always obey Fumnellmap Gemvabfet's priests.