Gonwabnell is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, weak elephant.

Gonwabnell created the planet Venus two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gonwabnell, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Gonwabnell, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Gonwabnell's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Gonwabnell's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt otters.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never run in holy places.