Barndissvil is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, prudent gorilla.

Barndissvil created a top quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Barndissvil, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Barndissvil, she will not invite you to parties.

Barndissvil's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Barndissvil's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about sheep.

2. Always look after injured manatees.

3. Barndissvil loves moths, so they must be respected.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.