Arncabfem is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, moody walrus.

Arncabfem created a down quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arncabfem, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Arncabfem, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Arncabfem's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Arncabfem's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Arncabfem.

3. Put Arncabfem first in all things.

4. Run away if five great tits approach from the west.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.