Veenflab is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, grumpy badger.

Veenflab created silver nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Veenflab, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Veenflab, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Veenflab's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Veenflab's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Veenflab.

2. Do not shave your legs.

3. Never look at planets.

4. Never laugh in holy places.

5. Do not kill mice.