Wipshavquam is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, awesome shark.

Wipshavquam created the planet Mars four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wipshavquam, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Wipshavquam, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Wipshavquam's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Wipshavquam's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never talk about ducks.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never eat bark.