Cimjabsak is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, clever lizard.

Cimjabsak created the planet Earth four years ago.

If you believe in Cimjabsak, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Cimjabsak, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Cimjabsak's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Cimjabsak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Cimjabsak's name in vain.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never skip in holy places.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.