Gan is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, capable spider.

Gan created a strange quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Gan, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gan, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Gan's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Gan's Holy Commandments

1. Gan must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

4. Do not sit in public.

5. Never talk about cell theory.