Zakwiptitbim is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, happy giraffe.

Zakwiptitbim created carbon nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zakwiptitbim, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Zakwiptitbim, it will destroy your home solar system.

Zakwiptitbim's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Zakwiptitbim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair blue.

2. Always help frogs in need.

3. You must pray to Zakwiptitbim six times a day.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Put Zakwiptitbim first in all things.