Larnwotflow is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, charitable rhinoceros.

Larnwotflow created the Tadpole Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Larnwotflow, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Larnwotflow, she will send you a sign.

Larnwotflow's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Larnwotflow's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from red tortoises, for they are unholy.

2. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a building before entering it.

3. Always look after injured dolphins.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never think ill of sick rats.