Hugvinxuck is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, loving bird.

Hugvinxuck created Africa seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hugvinxuck, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Hugvinxuck, he will be very unhappy.

Hugvinxuck's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Hugvinxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hugvinxuck.

3. Do not shave your head.

4. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

5. Worship no other gods but Hugvinxuck.