Lagpagflispinmadmabgatzog is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, dishonest monkey.

Lagpagflispinmadmabgatzog created the planet Earth six million years ago.

If you believe in Lagpagflispinmadmabgatzog, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Lagpagflispinmadmabgatzog, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Lagpagflispinmadmabgatzog's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Lagpagflispinmadmabgatzog's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always help sick turtles.

3. Never write about nebulae.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never talk about stars.