Dapmapgummiphogjip is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, all-knowing cow.

Dapmapgummiphogjip created a top quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Dapmapgummiphogjip, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dapmapgummiphogjip, it will turn you into a slug.

Dapmapgummiphogjip's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Dapmapgummiphogjip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not wear yellow clothing.

4. Never bounce in holy places.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.