Benominfas is a god.

It takes the form of a large, thoughtless octopus.

Benominfas created vertebrates nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Benominfas, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Benominfas, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Benominfas' most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Benominfas' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Do not wear pink clothing.

3. Geese are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not speak about beans.

5. Always help badgers in need.