Nakfedcin is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, charitable bird.

Nakfedcin created the Cigar Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nakfedcin, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nakfedcin, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Nakfedcin's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Nakfedcin's Holy Commandments

1. Nakfedcin must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always treat voles with great respect.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Always help gulls.

5. Always stare at clouds.