Quafsiddun is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unthinking skunk.

Quafsiddun created energy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quafsiddun, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Quafsiddun, he will destroy your home solar system.

Quafsiddun's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Quafsiddun's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not drink water in black rooms.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.