Flatbug is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, unselfish mink.

Flatbug created a photon eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Flatbug, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Flatbug, he will turn you into a hamster.

Flatbug's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Flatbug's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large copper sculpture of Flatbug on top of all buildings.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Flatbug.

3. Seals are not to be trusted.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always help sick ducks.