Capgancedbutbansistitbiss is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, fast porpoise.

Capgancedbutbansistitbiss created the universe four billion years ago.

If you believe in Capgancedbutbansistitbiss, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Capgancedbutbansistitbiss, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Capgancedbutbansistitbiss' most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Capgancedbutbansistitbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Capgancedbutbansistitbiss on top of all buildings.

5. Never think about comets.