Zessyesscun is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, self-confident chinchilla.

Zessyesscun created Asia two million years ago.

If you believe in Zessyesscun, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Zessyesscun, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Zessyesscun's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Zessyesscun's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at black holes.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snakes.

3. Never think about planets.

4. Always treat birds with great respect.

5. Do not listen to music.