Arpnigyokbosswodmadbell is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, bad-tempered squid.

Arpnigyokbosswodmadbell created water nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arpnigyokbosswodmadbell, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Arpnigyokbosswodmadbell, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Arpnigyokbosswodmadbell's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Arpnigyokbosswodmadbell's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never paint your hands violet.

4. Always treat swans with great respect.

5. Never run near voles.