Pitaf is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, selfish raccoon.

Pitaf created tapeworms four years ago.

If you believe in Pitaf, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Pitaf, he will come to you in dreams.

Pitaf's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Pitaf's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not take Pitaf's name in vain.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.