Stantamwodstik Gupsak is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, happy dryad.

Stantamwodstik Gupsak created the Cigar Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Stantamwodstik Gupsak, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Stantamwodstik Gupsak, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Stantamwodstik Gupsak's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Stantamwodstik Gupsak's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at moons.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Stantamwodstik Gupsak.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Never talk about comets.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.