Jadbopsigwab is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, grumpy alligator.

Jadbopsigwab created gold three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jadbopsigwab, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Jadbopsigwab, she will destroy your home planet.

Jadbopsigwab's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Jadbopsigwab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never sing in the presence of swans.

3. Do not shave your chest.

4. Never hurt sheep.

5. Never paint your face fawn.