Beggenaf is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, irritating pig.

Beggenaf created the planet Saturn four billion years ago.

If you believe in Beggenaf, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Beggenaf, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Beggenaf's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Beggenaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never bounce in holy places.

5. Beggenaf loves snakes, so they must be respected.