Jatmutced is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, two-faced goose.

Jatmutced created silver three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jatmutced, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Jatmutced, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Jatmutced's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Jatmutced's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair mauve.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never feed gooseberries to tortoises while wearing black scarves.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Always treat capybaras with great respect.