Wanmiphon Legjipbom is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, pitiless swallow.

Wanmiphon Legjipbom created gold nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wanmiphon Legjipbom, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Wanmiphon Legjipbom, he will jump up and down on your head.

Wanmiphon Legjipbom's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Wanmiphon Legjipbom's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Never go into turquoise rooms.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not speak about limes.

5. Do not kill rats.