Gemzanmat Barntettital is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, unthinking guinea pig.

Gemzanmat Barntettital created the Tadpole Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemzanmat Barntettital, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gemzanmat Barntettital, it will turn you into a duck.

Gemzanmat Barntettital's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Gemzanmat Barntettital's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven gold sculptures of Gemzanmat Barntettital on top of important buildings.

2. Never mention swans.

3. Never look at comets.

4. Gemzanmat Barntettital must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not drink water in green rooms.