Sagkapbeddav is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, merciless grasshopper.

Sagkapbeddav created a top quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sagkapbeddav, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sagkapbeddav, he will turn you into a sheep.

Sagkapbeddav's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Sagkapbeddav's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not wear magenta clothing.

4. Always help sick grasshopers.

5. Do not cook food in pots.