Ladpaszod is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, almighty lobster.

Ladpaszod created the cosmos five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ladpaszod, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Ladpaszod, he will curse you with boils.

Ladpaszod's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Ladpaszod's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

2. Ladpaszod loves voles, so they must be honoured.

3. Always wear indigo.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Always obey Ladpaszod's priests.